Though Ricky Gervais somewhat famously told his agent after the 2012 Golden Globes that he hoped never to be persuaded to host the show again, he’ll be returning this year for his fourth stint as emcee. Headline-making celebrities likely shuddered at the thought, as many of Ricky’s uncomfortably funny-because-it’s-true jokes will surely be made at their expense. We’re guessing the Entourage movie, Adam Sandler, at least one of the Kardashians and Bill Cosby will be among those skewered this year. For a taste of what’s to come, here’s a retrospective of some of the host’s most memorable friendly and not-so-friendly jabs.
On The Guests
“Looking at all the wonderful faces here today reminds me of the great work that's been done this year … by cosmetic surgeons.”
On Colin Firth
"He's also swooned over by women. I don't see it. Good luck to him. He's very racist. I mean, really nasty stuff. Also, I've seen him punch a little blind kitten. Please welcome the evil Colin Firth."
On The Bridesmaids Cast
"Farting, burping, cursing, performing wild sex acts, even pooping in the sink. I heard for research they spent the weekend with Dame Helen Mirren."
"It's going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking—or as Charlie Sheen calls it: breakfast."
On Natalie Portman
"Last year, our next presenter won both the Golden Globe and the Oscar for her work in Black Swan. This year, she took some time out to have a baby. Consequently, she's been nominated for nothing. Really pathetic. But she learned that valuable lesson you all already knew—never put family first."
On Sex And The City 2
"I was sure the Golden Globe for special effects would go to the team that airbrushed [the Sex and City 2] poster."
On Bruce Willis
"You know our next presenter from such films as Hudson Hawk, Look Who's Talking, Mercury Rising, Color of Night, The Fifth Element, Hart's War. Please welcome Ashton Kutcher's dad, Bruce Willis."
On Melissa McCarthy
"She made her mark in comedy this summer by defecating into a sink. Amazingly, that's still less demeaning than what most of you have done to make it in show business."
On Robert Downey, Jr.
"He has done all of those films, but many of you in this room probably know him best from such facilities as The Betty Ford Clinic and the Los Angeles County Jail. Robert Downey, Jr.!"
On The Tourist
"It was a big year for 3D movies. Toy Story, Despicable Me, Tron. It seemed like everything this year was 3-dimensional. Except the characters in The Tourist."