(Living)

9 Things All Newly-Engaged Girls Should Know

A lot of things happen over the holidays, but few of them—outside of visits from Santa or maxed out credit cards—occur in greater frequency than new engagements. As those who are not coupled prepare to be inundated with newsfeed updates on those who are newly bethrothed, those anticipating a ring might also want to be prepping for what lies ahead. Here, 9 things all newly-engaged girls should know.

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9 Things All Newly-Engaged Girls Should Know

Unless you've been planning since long before he actually popped the question, we suggest you wait until the engagement party has happened to even consider starting the process. This will give you some time to enjoy the first step in the process (engagement) and put some actual thought into what you and your significant other want before beginning to book vendors.

Even those who think they're going to be low-key brides will likely find themselves completely overwhelmed by the planning process. If your schedule doesn't allow for a part-time second job, we suggest you consider routing some of your budget to a wedding planner, even if it means cutting costs in other areas. It's not worth losing your sanity over a party.

Only you know the specific dynamics of your relationship, so it's hard to give advice on this as you may be 100% fine with planning the entire event solo. We do, however, suggest you avoid a Big-and-Carrie-esque debacle by ensuring your partner is at least aware of your plans—even if your significant other's eyes start to glaze over at the mention of color schemes, it's advisable to call out specific things they might not be so into when they finally see them IRL (all pink everything, for example). Related: You will probably find yourself fighting with your significant other more than you ever have before, which is normal but likely to feel a bit disconcerting given you're about to commit to spending the rest of your life with this person.

So much goes into the planning of a wedding that it's an overwhelming process if you try to attack it in a big picture kind of way. Instead, break it down into bite-sized goals that you can slate into a calendar. This will keep you on track and in control.

Lowball yourself initially on purpose, because you'll inevitably spend more than you've planned no matter how hard you try to stay within a responsible budget.

Your wedding is about you, right? Wrong. Well, a little bit wrong. People take weddings very personally, and invites are a tricky matter. Even trickier? Your bridal party. Even if you haven't spoken to someone in years, they may take it personally if you don't ask them to be a bridesmaid. It's important to steel yourself for hurt feelings early on and strategize accordingly—we've seen friendships ruined over this seemingly innocuous situation. Ultimately, however, you should remember that this actually is your party, and you can invite whomever you choose to be a part of it.

This just never doesn't happen, unless you let them pick out their own gowns.

Weddings aren't just big business these days, they're also Instagram fodder and can therefore become slightly competitive in nature. Everyone has different budgets and tastes, but it's natural to feel a little insecure about how your wedding stacks up to that of your friend with family money who recently got married on a yacht off of the South of France. Remember, this day isn't really about the pomp and circumstance, it's about the gathering of friends and family to celebrate your commitment to the person you love. In our opinion, the best weddings are those that most accurately reflect the personalities of those involved.

It will be the dance you share with your grandfather, the moment at which your groom sees you for the first time, the speech your dad gives and other such once-in-a-lifetime moments. Don't sweat the small stuff at the expense of the bigger picture—this will be one of the most emotionally significant days of your life, regardless of what it looks like on paper (or on Instagram).