I Used To Think My Hands Were Ugly — Here’s How I Learned To Love Them

We all have insecurities — many of them come as a result of comparing ourselves to the “perfect” pictures we see on social media. I have tons of them (trust me), but one that I haven’t been able to shake for years is my hands. I know — it may seem trivial. But, I’ve always felt embarrassed by my hands because I felt like they weren’t as pretty as my peers or the influencers that I see on social media. My nails are short, I have a habit of picking off my polish when I’m nervous, I have scars from using hot tools, and my fingers are crooked and stubby (for lack of a better word). This has always been something I felt ashamed of and I find myself asking people “how do you get your nails to look so beautiful?” on a regular basis.

For some, the answer is genetics while others tell me that they’ve implemented regular manicures into their self-care routines. For me, though, I’m pretty rough on my hands — I tear open packages, use my fingers to do my makeup, and, of course, type at the computer all day for my job — so it’s difficult for me to justify getting biweekly manicures when I know I’ll most likely ruin them. Sometimes, I try to give myself manicures at home before an event or will paint my nails with a clear coat to give them a subtle bit of shine. Still, no matter what I’ve done, I’ve never felt like I could showcase my hands (I just want to post a cute nail art pic, ok!?). All jokes aside, it’s been hard for me to love my hands because I just couldn’t get past what they look like.

I know that other women have felt this pressure, too, to keep up with the (sometimes unattainable) beauty standards when it comes to any and every part of our bodies — seriously, it’s from head to toe. And because of how engrained these unrealistic expectations are in our day-to-day lives, we tend to garner insecurities about even the most minor parts of our bodies, including our hands and nails.

For hands in particular, I’ve had conversations with close friends about what creates this insecurity — for some, it’s the fresh manicures celebrities share on Instagram while others have felt insecure shopping for jewelry as the sparkling pieces look better on the hand models. But, we must stop putting this pressure on ourselves to look perfect (there is way too much going on in the world). Plus, for women who use their hands as a part of their jobs, the up-keep of their hands and nail care can take a back seat on the priority list.

Ahead, you’ll be able to hear from four hard-working women whose hands are a vessel for their creativity and have chosen to love them no matter what they look like. These women appreciate their hands, show them grace, and even thank them for what they’re able to do — a practice I’m hoping to implement into my daily routine.

Jennifer Huynh, Future Flowers

What do you do for work?

I am a floral designer and prop stylist based in Brooklyn. I have my own company called Future Flowers.

Have you ever felt insecure about your hands?

For sure — I feel like the constant dirt under my nails is not super pretty. I also have these scars on my hands and especially when I want to wear rings, I feel like I need to hide them away instead of showing them off because they’re not so perfect.

Where do you feel like this insecurity comes from?

I feel like a lot of it comes from social media and Instagram. There's a few nail artists that I follow and I have few of my friends who post really amazing nail designs. From time to time, I think “I would love to have those types of well-manicured nails,” but I know that with the work that I do it’s futile because they’ll get wrecked after a day or so.

On the other hand, what do you love about your hands?

They're very reliable and I feel like I can trust them with the work that I do. So, I'm very grateful to have all 10 fingers and two hands that allow me to create the work that I want to create.

What are three words you’d use to describe your hands?

Rough, hard-working, and reliable.

Josanna Rowe, Jo Ro Studios

What do you do for work?

I have a pottery business so I make cups, mugs, plates, and more with my hands all day.

Have you ever felt insecure about your hands?

Yes, all the time. When I’m dressing up or going out, that’s when I get most insecure about them. Me and my pottery friends refer to them as our “little boy hands” because we always have literal dirt under our nails. We all understand it, but I feel like people who don’t know think my hands are dirty.

Where do you feel like this insecurity comes from?

Social media mostly — I love the concept of getting your nails done and having cute designs and colors on your nails so I engage with that type of content all the time. But, people are only showing their nails fresh out of manicures and everything’s perfectly curated.

On the other hand, what do you love about your hands?

I love that they're functional, and they're strong. They allow me to create artwork every day and so I'm thankful for that and love my hands for that.

What are three words you’d use to describe your hands?

Practical, strong, and utilized.

Susan Oludele, Hair By Susy

What do you do for work?

I’m the owner of Hair By Susy, which is a braiding studio based in Brooklyn, New York. I would also call myself a hair artist and creative.

Have you ever felt insecure about your hands?

Oh yeah, definitely. My hands been through a lot — especially as a braider because when I’m doing clients hair my nails break. A lot of braiders also get carpal tunnel because they use their hands so much. There are some days when I look down and think, Wow, these hands are looking rough!

Where do you feel like this insecurity comes from?

Social media definitely plays a part in that insecurity. I see bloggers, celebrities, or influencers with extra long nails and I wish that I could have that, too. But, I’m a braider so it wouldn’t work with my job.

On the other hand, what do you love about your hands?

I say thank you to my hands all the time. I appreciate all the work they’ve done for me — they guide me through everything and help me get gigs and job opportunities. They never fail me, even if they don’t look as pretty as other people.

What are three words you’d use to describe your hands?

Strong, dependable, and useful.

Michaell Lynn, Maison Madison Couture

What do you do for work?

I am a couturier, fashion designer, and also a tailor. I spend my days sketching for clients, preparing fabric, steaming it, and then pinning the fabric depending on what I’m making. Then, I’ll sew by hand or at the machine.

Have you ever felt insecure about your hands?

I don’t have battle scars on my hands, so that’s good, but I do wish that I could have pretty nails. I usually paint them with nail hardener to prevent them from breaking. Also, when I’m touching the fabric it takes the moisture out of my hands because you’re touching the actual fibers so they sometimes get dried out.

Where do you feel like this insecurity comes from?

Working in the fashion industry, I struggled with standards of beauty for years being around all these models. Now though, I just want to have long healthy nails to help me do my work.

On the other hand, what do you love about your hands?

There’s an expression that they use in France when they’re speaking about couturiers — it’s des doigts de fée, which means fingers of fairies because of the magical and beautiful work that they do. I think that’s such a charming expression and I try to think of my hands in that way.

What are three words you’d use to describe your hands?

Working, sculpting, and neglected.