My Quest To Become A Victoria's Secret Angel

The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show is an event—a gathering of some of the world’s most beautiful, glamorous people walking an ornate runway wearing OTT lingerie. On a quest to wear this year's Fantasy Bra (which looks amazing and there's no way I'm actually getting near it), I enlist the help of two actual Victoria's Secret Angels: Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio. They share the deets of their pre-show prep with me so I can follow along. These women are flawless, genetically blessed humans, while I'm the kind of person who leaves her car keys on top of her car, so needless to say the process has been interesting. In the weeks leading up to the show, I'm sharing my intimate Angel-prep diary.

First things first: I order myself a set of cute satin VS pajamas and start snapping selfies to get into character. I also get some white workout clothes, because they seem to be partial to this color palette on Instagram. (Because they're angels?)

The Workouts

"As a model, I try to stay ready all year long because shoot days always come up and you want to be in your best shape," Adriana tells me. (Same, only my photo shoots involve me yelling at my boyfriend as he attempts to art direct me while our dogs bark in the background.) "Two months prior to the show, I try to work out about six times per week doing a variety of workouts that include circuit training and boxing," she says.

I typically work out four to five times a week already, so I focus on adding one to two additional classes into my routine. A boxing studio just opened up down the street from our office, so I sign up for a class. After one session I suddenly think I'm Muhammad Ali, and I also start annoying everyone with my incessant Instagram stories about how much I like punching things.

I'm into the fact that Adriana likes high-intensity workouts, because if I had to only do yoga for a month I would literally die of boredom (don't at me, the dictionary literally amended the definition of literally to cover hyperbolic situations).

The Diet

Unsurprisingly, eating like an Angel requires discipline. Alessandra tells me she cuts out all her "cheats" (cupcakes and French fries) prior to the show. A rough breakdown of her day-to-day eating is as follows:

Breakfast: eggs or avocado toast

Post-workout: green juice

Lunch: salad with chicken or fish

Dinner: sushi (!!!) or grilled-at-home Brazilian barbecue

Snacks: "I have some nuts or a protein bar in my bag all the time in case I get hungry while running around."

First off, still processing the fact that sushi and avocado toast make the list. Carbs? Into it. I take this too far, as I'm wont to do with most endeavors, and end up spending far too much on sushi this week. Next week I vow to cut back.

I also look into Juice Press, which Adriana recommends. We don't have a Juice Press in Los Angeles; for authenticity's sake they're able to ship me a sampling of their magical supermodel-approved wares across the United States. Will report back in next week's update.

The Hydration

"I drink tons of water on a regular basis, which really helps my skin," says Adriana. Alessandra also mentions the importance of hydration. Can you even imagine getting a pimple before the VS Fashion Show? I would be deceased.

I invest in a new water bottle from Corkcicle. Much like the spending-too-much-on-sushi portion of this exercise, this seems like a decision made to satisfy my need to have things rather than to make a life improvement, as I drink no more water than normal.

The Lifestyle

"Being a mom, I get up early no matter if I am getting ready for a show or not, so I just make sure that I go to bed early as I like to get eight hours of sleep each night," Alessandra tells me. I'm also an early riser, so this was one part of the routine that wasn't a huge challenge for me. However, the eight hours of sleep— yikes. I get up at 5:15am, which means to get in a solid eight hours I would need to be asleep by 9:15. The first night, I climb into bed at 8:15, pop a melatonin and read for an hour.

Sleep eludes me, so I read a little more and bring out the big guns: lotion infused with lavender essential oil. I drown myself in it, using approximately half the bottle. I'm determined to sleep like an Angel. My dog comes over and starts licking the lotion off my arm, so I have to spend the next 15 minutes frantically Googling whether dogs can ingest lavender. Finally, I sleep. By the end of the week I crawl into bed, read for 20 minutes and then it's metaphorical (and literal, I guess) lights out.

"I try not to travel as much in the weeks leading up to the show because I like my body to get into a routine. It's like I'm training for my own version of the Super Bowl or the Olympics. I am very focused and need to train, eat and sleep properly and then repeat. Of course, there's always cuddle time with my daughters too," says Adriana. I have no kids, and know no people nearby who have kids, so I spend extra time with my dogs. They are ambivalent about this development, but that's parenthood am I right?

Check back in next week for more updates!